Linh_Says's Xanga

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 00:08:58 GMT

If there's one thing I know for sure, It is that God is God and he will always be God whether we like him or not.
But I like Him, so it's ok :)

If there's one thing I've noticed lately, it is that I have been writing about Him and not exactly to Him.
If there's one thing that I understand completely, it is that I have no clue what I'm doing.
And that makes me sad.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:44:03 GMT

I had a friend. His name is Paul. He was broken. He was an Athiest. He's now a Christ lover.

I really want to know what happened.

God,
I love that you have the power to melt a heart of stone. No matter how stubborn we are, you're grace and beauty, especially your love, breaks the walls we've built up. I love that to you, this is art.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:30:23 GMT

You know, because I'm in college and all, you'd think that I'd develop a sense of maturity where I'd be able to keep a schedule and just run with it...
My high school teachers were right. Bad habits do, indeed, follow you.

I don't know. I have such a lack of motivation to do anything productive. It kinda sucks.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:56:25 GMT

I haven't written on here for AGES.

So the first week of school has already officially started and I still feel like nothing has changed.
Besides the fact that I now live where I learn.
Because this is a new chapter of life that I'm about to explore, I feel the need to, yet again, reflect on the events of the past that mean something to me.
I know that this is the point where people will find how different they are now from who they used to be. This is true between friends too.

One verse that I seem to always run into is where Jesus tells us that he did not come to bring peace but a sword. It was true then, it's true now, and it always will be true.
I just don't understand why I can't let go of the past and just move on to the brighter things ahead. I don't get why I'm always clinging to the dinosaurs of my life, things that are already fossilized and happened. I find that making new friends makes me yearn even more for the ones that I already have or had. I remember when the friendships I made didn't just touch the surface of each person but dove down deep, touching our weary, beating hearts.

I yearn for that. I yearn even more to know what it is that God wants with me. As I look back on all these people who are running through my mind, I can't see how I ever mattered. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I just feel alone and forgotten. Either way, I'm lost and I can't see.

I guess whatever this phase may be, it can be summed up into two words:

HOME SICK.
In more ways than one...

Friday, July 24, 2009

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:34:47 GMT

The Harvest is plenty. The workers are few........- Matthew

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:10:26 GMT

I realized my problem.
I doubt God's love. Big time.
I don't doubt that He can do anything because I know as well as any Christian knows that there's nothing that can hold him back from licking His elbow.

It's kind of like this.
Person can pray. Person will not have a doubt in his/her mind about whether or not God is able to do said prayer. Person doubts that God listen/cares enough to answer.

Why is His love so unbelievable? For me, it's because I feel too insignificant for Him to pay attention. Not that He should because I fully don't deserve it........and bam. reason number two. I don't deserve it. I know God is not ATM for prayer just FYI. I guess it just all goes back to my question of origin: why does God let his people struggle?

I already know the answer. I just have a hard time believing that too...

I hate going into uncharted territory. God just happens to be uncharted territory for me. It's like jumping in blindfolded.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:38:41 GMT

I am in a WORLD of trouble now.

Goshhh!!!! I sure do wish I wasn't so irresponsible. Now what?

I hate this, God. It sucks.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:36:17 GMT

God,

I don't know what it is, but I feel dry. Like my heart is a desert. Like You're not around right now. I don't know where You are and I feel kinda lost. but I shouldn't.

Help.

Yours, Linh.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 18:21:49 GMT

Hooooooooolllllllllllllyyyyyyy WOW it's starting to hurrrt.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wed, 13 May 2009 02:08:03 GMT

So senior year is coming to an end and it's strange to say that I don't feel anything towards it. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet or maybe i'm just that much of a stoic. Whatever it is, it's weird. I should be upset. I should be upset knowing that there are going to be some people that I'm never going to see again, hear from again, awkwardly glance at again. It's a sad idea and perhaps later on in life i'll look back and feel that biting nostaligia...but not now. No, not now.

I have this weird and harsh idea that God puts certain people in our lives for a reason and that whether they stay or not is up to Him. Of course we should all try to at least keep in touch if only with our acquaintances but if the other end doesn't pick up, there's not much that the dialing person can do.

I'm going to miss a lot of people. I wish I could embrace these people and never let go, telling them that everything's going to be alright, that the future ahead of them is going to be as bright as the sun.....but I don't know. Plus, I wouldn't want for them to feel the need to file a restraining order against me.

So it's time to go. There's only pushing forward now...